


Comfort

by orphan_account



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Autistic Zuko (Avatar), M/M, TW for transphobia and ableism, Trans Zuko (Avatar), quarantine fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25155868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Ozai's accomplished some bullshit or other and, as always, the rest of the world decides to bring up and confront Zuko. Zuko just wishes they'd all leave him in peace.
Relationships: Mai/Sokka/Suki/Ty Lee/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 212





	Comfort

Zuko was afraid to feel alive.

Some part of him, some childish innocence, some not-happiness and not-contentedness but lying notion of safety had died when his father had brought his burning hand down upon his face. Only thirteen, having just kissed his first boy, having spoken out against his father’s proposal on live television in front of his father’s kingdom, and spoken out again when his father apologized for his, “mentally, ah, _deficient_ ‘daughter’s’ interference,” he….

A long time had passed since then. The whole world had already known his face, his name, his divergent and queer _states_ of being, but ever since he’d emerged from the Emergency Room that his Uncle had dragged him to, away from the Palace, he hadn’t been forgotten. No one was willing to forget him. They said that they couldn’t and that they shouldn’t, that it would dishonor him to forget the atrocities committed by the Fire Lord against his own _lesser_ child.

They never used that word; they either threw slurs and “told it how it was” or beat around the bush. He knew that it all meant the same to them, anyway.

Some Anonymous hackers had leaked his Agni Kai along with its documentation of reason. Footage of his disobedience already broadcast live, documents signed by his father’s own hand, and footage of his suffering were open for the whole world to see and to commentate. Platform after platform banned it, swayed by his Father’s money and the very real threat that the Fire Nation military posed, but always, someone would bring it back, would post it to the dark web or in the limelight. Bots would spam it, all-year-round but especially on its anniversary and on his own birthday and whenever his father or sister did anything. They'd even bring it up when he did something at his college and promoted whatever it may be on his accounts. Students would approach him about it whenever they damn well pleased, like they were entitled to him.

He'd heard so many apologies, and he thought that he should be more grateful, but he just wanted peace.

They wouldn’t leave his mother’s disappearance be, let her rest, _he knew she was dead, could feel it in his very soul, knew that Ozai had killed her_ , either.

He dropped his head into his hands, feeling his throat well up and his eyes grow hot and wet.

He wasn’t able to cry as easily anymore, now that he was on testosterone and had been for years. He was glad. It was difficult to conceal the tear tracks from the people around him, especially his partners.

Thankfully, only one was stuck quarantined with him, and he sent a mental apology to him for that.

Sokka deserved better. Sokka deserved to be with Suki and Ty Lee, Mai, although Mai and Sokka didn’t really seem to do much more than chill and vibe.

Being stuck with even just her would be better than being stuck with himself, though, Zuko thought. It would be leagues better than being stuck with Zuko’s problems, better than being stuck with his boyfriend’s scarred face and damage thrown all over his feed and questions spammed into his livestreams.

Someone sobbed. Zuko absently realized that it was him.

Someone had been whistling away in the kitchen-living room area of their apartment. It was Sokka, because no one else lived with them. The whistling stopped and a head peeked through his door.

“ _Zuuuko_ ,” Sokka started, before starting as he realized that something was wrong.

He rushed into the room, revealing his shirtless abs that didn’t really help Zuko feel better but were definitely nice to look at. Sokka didn’t reach out for him immediately, instead crouching down in front of him, looking up at him with wide cerulean eyes. His blood, he suddenly realized, was roaring in his ears, like there was a wind in there trying to drown everything out. It spun him around, disoriented him.

“Babe? You okay?” Sokka asked.

Zuko stared at his face from behind the fingers digging into his forehead, mussing his hair. He let out a tiny whine in response. Sokka lowered himself down the rest of the way into a cross-legged sit, pulling himself forward but still not reaching for him.

“Can I touch you?” he asked, clear and worried.

Zuko let out another small whine as he tried to force his thoughts to organize themselves into something cohesive so that he could pull something, some answer, out. Sokka waited patiently until he gave a slow, short nod, still not removing his hands from his face.

Sokka reached a hand out to his leg. Zuko jerked upon the first contact, and Sokka moved immediately to back off, but stopped at his vehement, quiet, “No!”

“No to touch or no to lackthereof?” Sokka asked. He peered up at Zuko’s face, which Zuko desperately in that moment wanted to hide.

He managed to pry away one hand, shakily reaching down to grasp at Sokka’s arm, pulling at it until he could reach his hand. He twined their fingers together, his hand and arm still shaking.

Sokka raised their conjoined hand to his face and pressed gentle kisses to his knuckles. Zuko shook harder.

“Why?” he rasped, still trying to hide his face to the best of his ability.

“Mm?”

Sokka’s eyes flickered back up to Zuko’s own from where he’d looked down to the floor, meeting his gaze head-on and unflinching.

“Why would you want to touch me?” he asked. His lisp was too strong, even if Sokka and Mai and Suki and Ty always said it was cute. He hated himself.

“Babe, I love you,” Sokka replied, as though that answered everything.

He raised his other hand, gently letting one finger rest on Zuko’s thigh. Zuko let it happen, gave another short nod that _yes, it was okay_ , and he began to gently trace it up and down, sometimes jumping over to the tense arm of the hand still clutching his face, down his leg, drawing patterns over his too-fine sleeping clothing.

Zuko belatedly realized that he was speaking and he’d missed part of what he’d been saying.

“You’re smart and funny, you’re cute and cool and just, so perfect. You and I get each other on a level that nobody else does. We can start a game of bullshit and nobody will understand it but somehow it’ll morph into genuine rules and regulations, something that makes sense just to us and only us. You love with your whole heart and put so much effort into helping others where you can. You’re just, you’re _you_ and you’re amazing and Tui, I adore every part of you.”

Zuko sniffled, dragging his hand down his face and dropping it into his lap. Sokka immediately took the opportunity and grasped that one in his own, too, thumb rubbing circles over his sweaty palm.

“But I-I’m a failure and no one should have to deal with, with my problems,” Zuko tried, his breathing unsteady.

It was a good thing he had no mind or reason to bend in that moment.

“I’m scarred and scared and broken and one day my father’s going to come calling, he’s going to start a war, and he’s hurt so many people and he’s going to hurt all of you and-!”

There was a finger of Sokka’s in front of his lips, his own hand still clutched within it.

“It’s going to be okay, Zuko,” Sokka gently reminded him. “Your Uncle isn’t far and if— _if_ that bastard tries to come for you, we’re all going to get you out of there. Even your sister will protect you.”

At that, Zuko sobbed.

“But who’ll protect her?” he finally cried.

Sokka gently shushed him, pulling up to his knees and breaking their hands to gently envelop Zuko in a hold. Zuko pushed off from his chair, pushing himself to the floor. His head banged against the back of it and Sokka winced, but he didn’t care. He wrapped his own arms around Sokka, too, tackling him to the sea green pond-print rug beneath them. He could feel Sokka’s heart beating steadily in his chest, and wondered if Sokka could feel his going wild. He knew that he could.

Sokka hauled him up so that Zuko could push his head into the side of Sokka’s neck, wrapping his arms more fully around him, tight but easily breakable, and Zuko inhaled his familiar scent. He knew that Sokka would let go if he wanted; all he had to do was say or move. His ankles stuck out beyond Sokka’s toes and he thumped his feet, earning a giggle.

“Fuck you and your tall bullshit, man,” Sokka laughed.

Zuko couldn’t hold in his wavery smile, pressing his upturned lips gently into the curve of Sokka’s neck. Sokka’s breath caught and his heartbeat stuttered. His arms released only for his hands to come up, cupping each of Zuko’s cheeks and pushing back his hair so that Sokka could really see his face. Zuko blushed.

He probably looked like a furrowed-brow, red-faced, upset and now also blushy mess.

Sokka reached up with his own face, tenderly brushing their lips together. Zuko breathed out, and Sokka laid his head back down, gently nudging Zuko’s head back towards his neck. Zuko complied eagerly. No one needed to see _his_ face however it must look.

“You’re worth the whole world, darling, if only you could see it,” Sokka breathed.

Zuko knee’d his leg in retaliation.

“Reporters are shitty. People are shitty,” Sokka continued, ignoring him entirely. “If you don’t want to see it, and you don’t want us to see it, we just won’t look.”

Zuko bit down on his neck gently. Sokka inhaled, releasing one cheek to instead thread his fingers through Zuko’s hair.

“You are everything to me, to all of us. You’re so precious and you don’t even know.”

Zuko ground his knee into the bone of Sokka’s leg. That’d show him.

“You keep us running, keep me functional,” Sokka admitted. “You’ve impacted so many lives around the world, in so many ways.”

Zuko stiffened, a cold sweat threatening to break over his skin as his hackles rose. He would know better to refer to that, right? Right?

“You’re so outspoken, always fighting for people the rest of the world wants to forget. You platform host so many voices that the world needs to hear.”

He wasn’t, thank Agni.

Sokka turned his head so that they were eye to eye again, and stretched with a groan so that he could press a tender kiss to Zuko’s forehead.

“You’re so good, and you do so much good,” he said. “Wanna lose yourself to Animal Crossing tonight and ignore the shitty people in the world with me?”

It would work. Zuko stared at him, momentarily not comprehending, and then:

“We don’t own Animal Crossing,” he answered back.

Sokka gave him a cheekly grin, lightly thumping him on the side.

“A package from your Uncle came in the mail this morning,” he admitted.

Zuko blinked.

“When did you check the mail?” he asked.

“Halfway through the playlist with the green titles that you recommended.”

Zuko pouted, scrunching up his nose like some sort of bunny. Sokka nudged his own against it in a replica of what Zuko had done the night before.

“You were supposed to work straight through those,” he whined.

Sokka waggled his eyebrows.

“According to your Uncle’s card to me, actually, I was supposed to bring out AC today once you inevitably broke your vow caved to checking twitter.”

“’Inevitably?’” Zuko squawked.

Sokka laughed.

“Inevitably,” he nodded.

He raised his hand again, thumbing at Zuko’s chin. The light of a passing car outside the window reflected in Zuko’s eyes, unevenly lighting them. He drew in for another kiss, turning the both of them onto their sides. Zuko let out a soft _oof_ at the unexpected shift in position.

“I meant what I said, you know,” Sokka gently reminded him, still carding his fingers through Zuko’s hair.

Zuko shivered at his touch.

“You’re amazing, and precious, and you’re safe here. There’s nothing they can do to you. We’re all going to be okay.”

Zuko buried his face against Sokka’s shirt, pressing hard into his chest. Sokka wrapped his arm over him, again, and the pressure was so perfect, so comforting.

Zuko couldn’t hold in his wail. A gentle hand ran up and down his back, soothing. He pressed closer.

Sokka was still saying something, probably more comfortable words, but Zuko found that he couldn’t quite process them just then. It was frustrating, but he trusted Sokka, and out of everything, it was the least of his worries just then. Sokka was reaching at the wall for something, and dragged it over, raising Zuko's arm to place it beneath. Zuko squeezed it tightly, dipping his face into its plush exterior. It was the squishable turtleduck plushy that Sokka had won for him at a fair the year past.

He curled ever closer, both of them on that stupid pond rug his Uncle had given him and that he loved with all his being, as his boyfriend’s voice lulled him into sleep. They could play Animal Crossing if he woke up feeling better, without the false wind rushing through his ears and without the weight that the world wouldn't let him drop at least numb upon his shoulders.

He could hope for at least that much. With his boyfriend there to help him, he knew that he'd eventually get there again.


End file.
